firSt_kiSsy's Xanga

Curiosity

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:51:23 GMT

Curiosity....what would that lead you to...
Many times when I go to places to eat, I tend to order the same thing...
At the spaghetti place, I would always order 11
Sun cafe, I would always order set 4
Eat Tokyo, I would always order Salmon Teriyaki Bento
Some have asked, why don't you try something else...
I replied, when you have found something you like, why bother trying everything else...
Then they say, because you might find something that taste better...
I disagreed and still I eat the same things every time...
I don't know...sometimes I guess when you're so used to something, it get difficult to change...curiosity may lead us to wonder what other things on the menu might taste like...
But can we be bothered to try something new....something different
Is there a need, when you have found something that is suitable to your taste, to try different things...???
Recently, I have realized that no.11 no longer taste the same...but I still order it...
why...
because of loyalty???surely you can't use these type of words for food... but then I order it every time thinking that I like it the most but every time I would complain about how disgusting it tasted....
but why...
Why have my feelings and emotions become more and more complicated...
Crying every night for this....Is it really worth it...??
It's like a knife stuck in my heart...
leaving it in, will give me slight discomfort but constant and forever pain...
pulling it out will give me unpredictable pain but may heal after, at an unknown rate...
Do I choose the way of life that I have gotten so used to...
Or do I move on hoping to find something better...???
Does this make me a bitch to even think...
Is this my curiosity...???

When will I get to smile, truthfully and sincerely...??

We are Selfish...Greedy People...

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 22:58:27 GMT

I was looking out of my train window today...
I see many billboards...
Many billboards asking people to donate money...
Many are for charities...

We sometimes say...
There is no God...
If there is a God...
There will be no poverty...
There will be no poor...
There will be no suffering...
And everyone will be happy...
In this equation, many people would agree, there is no God...

To be honest...
We are the people who has turned this world into a disaster...
We are the people creating technology that kills our world...
Many people around the world are dying from the simplest disease that we never worry about...
People are dying from colds, flu, or even just an infection...
We are VERY capable to cure them...
But why don't we...???

If you're able to read this, it means that you have a computer...
Something that we don't NEED to survive...
We, as a country, spend millions on things that are priced well over its actual worth...
Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada, Mui Mui...
Do we really need these bags that cost about a grand each...???
To be honest, No...but we still buy it...
I am guilty of it...

With the resources that are given to us...
The land, the food, the people...
Everyone can be healthy and happy...
But because we are greedy...
Because we are selfish...
People that were born in the wrong places are now suffering...

I hope that when people read this, it will change their feelings when they see charity people with buckets...
Many say, they're a con....but I rather be cheated and put some money in it rather than not helping... A few quid is nothing to us...but to others, it's a few meals...Let's stop being selfish and greedy, even if it's just for that few seconds...

Smile because one day you'll realise, someone is smiling because of you...

<3

She Needs to be Strong, but Wants to be Weak...

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 10:56:58 GMT

She studies hard and tries to become an independent woman,
She works her way up trying to be stronger and stronger...
yet she also wants to stay at home and just be a simple housewife...
the vulnerable, naive one being taken care of...

She learns to drive and looks for her dream car...
yet she also longs to just sleep in the passenger seat while he drives...
listening to music while stuck in traffic and wouldn't need to worry...
even if there's not a single word of conversation, the atmosphere will always be warm...

She boasts she's good at this and that...
yet she wants him to teach her new things and tell her what is right...

She reminds him the work he needs to do over a million times...
but really, she wants him to tell her what she needs to do..
she just wants to know he remembers her...

She tells him to eat healthily and don't eat this and that...
but when she's ill, she prays that he will come and see her...
Drinking the soup he made or lunch he cooked...

She smiles to the world saying whatever comes, she'll face it with a smile...
but she longs for him to hug her tight while she's crying...
telling her that everything will be ok...

He did everything that she never imagined anyone to do for her...
but she didn't have happiness...
One thing he didn't do made them lose everything...
They are now strangers with regret...

Our wants and needs sometimes contradicts...
What do we really want in a person we want to be with...???

Most of "She" was me....
Is She you...?
Or are you He...??

How a Tiny Seed is Life Principle...

Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:29:26 GMT

I haven't blogged for so long....I guess I just never had the chance to recently...but there is something I really want to share...yesterday I went to church...it's not that I've never been to a church before since I used to be forced to go there with my secondary school to listen to loadza boring stuff about Christmas etc etc... but yesterday was completely different...This is one of the things I heard yesterday...

You plant a seed before you harvest it...

very simple right????TOTALLL COMMON SENSE...but to be honest a lot of people don't actually realise this principle throughout their daily lives...and these people include myself...recently I've been very down...mum has been away alot...whether it bein illness or hong kong...so I had to take care of the rest of my family....being stressed over my resits, I still had to do every chore in the house...with not a single person helping me...I cried a lot....I wondered why my dad didn't care....I wondered why my brothers didn't help...I wondered how they can see my do everything and just sit their and not take any notice in me...am I just a maid in my family??? why do they take me for granted??? I cried and cried....I thought no one cared for me....no one loved me....

Then I heard the principle of harvesting.... you plant before you harvest....this means you give before you recieve...you cannot harvest before you even plant the seed....when a seed is left on it's own, it will not grow...no matter how many years or centuries...it will still be just a seed....you must put the effort to plant the seed, water the seed, wait with patience and hope for reward....you cannot be a person that doesn't give love and then expect people to love you...you cannot expect people to treat you as a true friend if you don't try to treat them as a true friend first....

Then I argued...I put 101% and more into my family...but why do I feel like a recieve very little...Then I realised, when you plant a lot of seeds, there's a chance that some plants may grow strong, some may be weak and need more time and patience, and some may just turn bad....Even when you put a lot of effort, there's always a chance that it will turn bad...but if you don't plant the seed in the first place, you will get nothing...

I don't regret doing everything I can for my family...but I regret complaining about it....because deep down, I know they all truely care for me and love me...I just need to put more effort into loving them...I need to do more...My oldest brother just went to Hong Kong...I was so surprised at how much I cried...I never knew it would hit me so hard...I cried at the airport..I cried in the car...I cried at home...I'm crying while thinking about it now...I regret not spending enough time with him...

I will plant more seeds and look after my seeds
because I know I will be happier =)

My "Luckiest" Exam Period. . .

Sun, 07 Jun 2009 02:49:48 GMT

My exam period was not long...
Only lasting just over 3 weeks...
In such a short period...What can go wrong...???
EVERYTHING!!!!

Finally, all my exams are over, I'm so happy, today was like one of the first times that I can just sit and watch series for hours without caring...During exam period, every episode I watch was time that I waste...[even though I still watched an episode or 2 a night at least hehe xD]

My first exam went quite well...I think it's pass-able...but after my first exam, that night I started to get muscle pain...it didn't seem much so I didn't do much...soo wrong...so so wrong...the next day I had flu...what good timing???I couldn't sit...I could stand...I couldn't sleep...I couldn't even watch series...and I couldn't revise!!!!And the worst thing...I COULDN'T EAT!!!! For people that know me, I need to eat a reasonable sized meal or a lot of snacks every 2-3 hours [so exams are hell for me] Therefore, me not eating is a BIGGG deal for me...

After a few days, I actually thought I had swine flu...fever, chills, shaking...you name it, I had it...So, in the end I went to the hospital...I swear I go there every year now xD...good news...SWINE FLU FREEE!!!!! Then I had my 2nd and 3rd exams day after eachother...That's one exam failed for sure...Then after about 3 more days...I started getting a cough...coughing constantly in an exam is SOOOOO annoying!!!! I feel sorry for the people around me...

OK...4 exams gone...2 left on the last week...I thought YAY, coughs gone, illness gone...I'm better...then I put some cream on my legs...ALLERGIC REACTION!!!!!!!!! Great...JUSTTTTT great....aH welssss....everythings over so now I can just chill...AND I'M GOING BACK HK IN 4 DAYSSSS!!!![since it's like nearly 5am in the morning]

Why am I still awake...gawddd I need some sleep...
nyt nyt

Happy Birthday 小白!!!

Sat, 09 May 2009 17:40:35 GMT

For people that don't know me...I used to have the fluffiest, cutest bichon frise called Snowball a.k.a 小白...Sadly, he left me just over a year ago...I have been with 小白 since the age of 10 so I miss him so much...so so much...Today has actually been a really shit day...with family problems and uni stress thrown at me like hailstones...I feel defeated...

Crying and crying...I stared at my screen...little babii 小白 staring back at me...as if telling me not to cry...kept thinking about him, running around like a ball of fluff...I realised it was his birthday today...Maybe he was just trying to tell me it's his birthday haha

For 小白's sake...I WILL STAY STRONG!!!!

I will not let myself have 2 weak blogs in a row...

I <3 U 小白!!! I think maybe 小白's become my guardian angel...protecting me...You will forever be remembered as the cutest, smelliest chinky dog deep inside my heart...[and yes...he only understands chinese...not english xD]

xox 小白 + Jeni xox

We can't do everything...we can only try...

Sun, 03 May 2009 18:05:44 GMT

when do we know whether we have the right to do or say certain things...
Sometimes I say so much that I don't even understand what I had said...
yet at other times, I feel too frighten to express my feelings in case I hurt myself and other people...the consequences...can I withstand them...???

At the moment, I'm in the same situation and confused with what I should do...
Should I say what I need to say in order to make things better for someone I care for...???Or not, in case it ends up making things worse...

I am annoyed with myself...
Trying to look strong in front of everyone...
yet having to admit deep down that I am useless...
I cannot help but watch them suffer...
All I can do is be there for you...
Is that enough..??
No...
But that is all I can do...
I wish I can do better...

The Danger of Romantic Comedies

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 23:07:28 GMT

Rom Comz…I guess at least a third of the films released in cinemas are romantic comedies. Easy, relaxing films to watch, enjoyed by most ladies [actually, by a lot of men too]. Typical storyline, both female and male protagonist goes through a lot, falls in love etc etc and then a happy ending. Danger begins when girls start to EXPECT too much from guys. I swear nowadays girls seem to expect tooooooo much from guys. Yes, I’m talking about 港女 !!! Actually, it’s not really just that…haha just an example.

The difference between REALITY and … NOT!!!

In films: the girl keeps bumping into that cute guy like EVERYWHERE she goes. Oh it “MUST BE FATE”.

In reality: they either live in the same area or his route to work each day passes by her route to her destination each day. Now, maybe that’s why the possibility of bumping into each other becomes so high.

In films: the girl slips and OH MIRACULOUSLY the guy catches her, spins around and they both freeze with hearts jumping like beans

In reality: you fall flat on your face, either you cut your leg, twist your ankle or somehow landed on shit. hAiiii….where’s that man-of-your-dreams when you need him???

In films: she’s pretty but she’s not AMAZING yet she ends up with the “perfect guy”. Kind, loving, caring, doesn’t cheat, does EVRYTHING for her, forgives whatever she does, good looking, and RICH with a nice car, buys her expensive presents, pays for everything and la di da di da… the list goes on…

In reality: wake up girls!!! Firstly, most rich guys are so spoilt, they probably won’t even NOTICE most of us. Secondly, this person probably doesn’t exist… EVERYONE has a fault, no-ones perfect so don’t expect that. Also, a nice girlfriend never lets her boyfriend pay for EVERYTHING, have some pride and self respect and pay for yourself for god sake. That’s what I think anyway

hAiiii…the list goes on…but I really can’t be bothered to carry on writing…sometimes I just hate seeing girls expecting soooo much from guys. HELLO, they’re human too. Would you do the same for them. I think girls should carry MONEY. I swear some parents in HK actually TEACH their daughters not to bring a purse when you go out with a guy. Now why did my mum teach me to always bring money, hence why I always do. I feel bad spending people’s money, unless I treat them back too. Girls should feel happy when guys pay for you, don’t just take it for granted!!!!!!

If you haven’t found “the one”, either your expectations are too high or maybe it’s not time yet. If you have found someone perfect in your own way, don’t take advantage of him. He must love you a lot to be able to cope with you [us girls are ANNOYING lets be honest]. And if you’re with someone that you don’t think treats you right, maybe you've watched wayyyyy tOo many rom coms, or he’s just an arse ^3^

ANYWAYS, this blOg is welllllll too long and I need to cook again for my dad. Since he wants supper…I guess maybe family and friends are the best!!!! With low expectations yet high rewards.

I love you all!!

Mwah

My firSt Japanese Cheesecake...

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 20:23:03 GMT

hehe last night jOnjOn came to kent to see me so today we made JAPANESE CHEESECAKE [as planned]...
These are the ingredients I used:
250g Mascarpone cheese
50g Butter
100ml Milk
140g Sugar
60g Plain flour
20g Cornflour
6 Eggs
1/4 tsp cream of tartar

and this is the final result:

This recipe can be found anywhere...just search japanese cheesecake on google and it's literally all the same... [but I didn't add lemon juice as I didn't have any xD] ... I used mascarpone cheese because I used that when I made tiramisu and it tasted great!!! I found that it was a little too sweet so if I do make it again, I would use less sugar...There was a lot of cake mixture...So ended up making 2 six-inch cakes and 4 little "creme brulee sized" cakes...PLUS finding a big roasting tin for the water bath was HARD!!! [as I don't have one!!!]

Anyways, today was great ^3^...I'm planning to make butter cookies soon but haven't decided when since I will be going back to London [leaving Kent] on Sunday...so it depends if I have the time or not since I don't have an oven in London...but yaHhh...here's the rest of the picz....looks quite bad but you can see that when you are baking it, it rises quite a lot...[all pOofed up] but when you let them cool down a bit, it'll all shrink, hence the wrinkled top ^^

cOokin ^^

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 23:24:31 GMT

haha once again, I have cooked for my family....I finally feel the pain of my mum cooking everyday...I have been cooking for the past 2 days and will probably be cooking for the future 2 weeks of easter...I LOVE COOKING!!!! but cooking for a family of 6 is hard...the cooking bit itself is not hard, it's trying to keep everything hot without having to microwave that is hard...I don't like using the microwave...I think it will soon have side affects on us humans...

What is also hard, is tying to PLEASE everyone...one of my brothers can't eat spicy food, the other can't eat seafood and the third, he picks at his food but he eats most things...Today had to walk 30mins to Asda [and 30mins back] to get fresh ingredients [since I refuse to buy fruit and veg from the mini corner co-op] KEEP FIT TOOO!!!!

AND TODAY I MADE MY FIRST EVER SOY SAUCE CHICKEN!!!!! [not literally just soy sauce with chicken...it's like marinade, dark soy sauce etc...the usual light soy sauc itself is not used...with sugar [the long chinese ones] etc etc.... my mum wouldn't believe me that if you cook the sauce and let it cool before using it to marinade the chicken wings, the colour STAYS on the chicken wings...I proved her wrong ^^.... ok in the picture, it looks really ugly [I blame the flaSh...????] but it did taste nice...i hope...well everyone had like 2/3 at least....and mum ate the most haha...its sad that I made a blog just for my ugly wings...but hey...thats me!!!

baibaii xox